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Msc CFRM UW online personal statement

Hi everyone, i want to apply to CFRM master and i wrote this personal statement. Any correction is appreciable (English is my third langage)

Dear Sir or Madam, I am interested in attending the MS-CFRM (Online) program to
broaden my knowledge in the application of mathematics in finances. I find the MSCFRM curriculum
comprehensive and challenging and believe I possess the necessary knowledge and skill
to successfully complete the program. As i have a solid computer
programming formation and experience plus a very high understanding of mathematics
acquired during my studies in three renown masters in France. For all these reasons I
find your master mathematics of Finance the right choice.
In parallel with my work as a computer engineer, I pursued 3 masters in mathematics with
the same programs as full time. This training in very recognized institutions
with high-level mathematics teachers I was able to build a fairly important knowledge
on the mathematical level particulary in the field of analysis, probability, and partial or
stochastic differential equations, numerical and computing technics in finance.
My first master’s thesis was about designing algorithms to solve some reconstruction
problems of the 3D shape from its dark and white image. During this work we relied
on a publication which presented results in figures without giving the method or the
algorithms followed to reconstruct the 3D shapes. During four months of work, I was
able to solve three problems and design two algorithms for each problem. My second
master’s thesis was on a minimization problem that was open and I had managed to
solve it. My third master’s thesis was on the Broadwell Discrete Equation and Boltzman
Global Solutions, my work was on the study of six publications and the proof of all the
results which were submitted without proof.
I look forward to learning the development of systematic trading strategies, advanced
data analysis, risk management, and alternative asset class investing. I am sure that
the program will make me fit to meet my future aspirations of becoming a quantitative
analyst or risk analyst, and am confident of making the right choice. With many distinguished lecturers at and the importance given to learning,
I am sure that the coming year would be a transforming experience for me.
I think I can highlight certain qualities of work as well as a passion for Maths. I am
a determined and tenacious person who will not fail at the University when it comes to
validating my Masters. I have also learnt from these experiences that determination and
diligence are essential to the success of any endeavours. As I am equally determined to
pursue success in my Master’s degree and in my career, I am ready to put in as much
effort as I can to work towards my academic and career goals.