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The 7 Laws of Bonuses

DominiConnor

Quant Headhunter
Joined
9/6/06
Messages
1,051
Points
93
Here are 7 Rules of bonuses I have observed, there may be more, any suggestions ?

  • Law Zero
Everyone lies about their bonus
  • First Law
Your bonus is a function of how much they want you to stay based upon your performance and the market, and nothing else at all. It is not a reward.
  • Second Law
Anything that is not seen by the P&L, your boss or compliance does not exist.
  • Third Law
There is no such thing as a guaranteed bonus. At best you have some legal ammunition when the bank tries to shaft you and they have bigger lawyers.
  • Fourth Law
Any change in your bonus scheme suggest by the bank is solely for the benefit of the bank.
  • Fifth Law
The terms ?don?t worry, we?ll take X into account when calculating your bonus? and ?we?ll ignore X? are operationally equal.
  • Sixth Law
No reason given for the level of your bonus can be assumed to be true.
 
It's more like - you can talk about bonuses but you don't initiate the talks.
 
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