How do you keep in touch with people you meet through networking?

[roni]

I have a short list of people who may be able to help me get a job after I obtain my MFE. How would you keep in touch with them? What techniques do you have?
The thing is that it would be weird to just email them in a 4-6 months or so out of the blue.

 

[Baller]

I wonder the same thing - like when you go out with work and meet some "higher up" people - how do you extend it to more than a one time introduction which both of you will forget about within the week

 

[bigbadwolf]

I wonder the same thing - like when you go out with work and meet some "higher up" people - how do you extend it to more than a one time introduction which both of you will forget about within the week

You have to find out their real interests (if they have any), which can often be something far removed from the world of work. And you have to be able to hold your own with regard to those interests, be able to talk about them, be able to share in them. It could be rock-climbing, it could be philately, it could be Russian minimalism. This is where a broad cultural background comes in handy. All the things they don't teach at business school. If you're a phony, trying to stay in contact because you think they might be useful some time, it shows, and isn't productive. Dale Carnegie wrote a book on how to be such a phony (How to Win Friends and Influence People), but in my humble opinion, it never works. Ulterior motives reveal themselves.

 

[IlyaKEightSix]

You have to find out their real interests (if they have any), which can often be something far removed from the world of work. And you have to be able to hold your own with regard to those interests, be able to talk about them, be able to share in them. It could be rock-climbing, it could be philately, it could be Russian minimalism. This is where a broad cultural background comes in handy. All the things they don't teach at business school. If you're a phony, trying to stay in contact because you think they might be useful some time, it shows, and isn't productive. Dale Carnegie wrote a book on how to be such a phony (How to Win Friends and Influence People), but in my humble opinion, it never works. Ulterior motives reveal themselves.

Translation: be genuinely interested in the person, and don't just see him as a tool to get you a job.

 

[Nick Yang Cai]

Translation: be genuinely interested in the person, and don't just see him as a tool to get you a job.

Completely Agreed

 

[bigbadwolf]

Translation: be genuinely interested in the person, and don't just see him as a tool to get you a job.

Quite so. But to be genuinely interested, you have to have some depth of character and knowledge yourself. I run into nincompoops who feign interest in the things that interest me -- but they don't know anything. The enthusiasm and interest is fake and superficial and I've nothing to say to them. Without shared interests there can be no real bonding and social encounters will be an extended, "Hiya."

 

[Baller]

Thanks for the input..but that part i fealt is kinda obvious - Obviously you want them to like you ---but im talking about after that, once you leave the chill staying in touch with them...(assuming theyre not in your office)

 

[SYau]

spam email them, every other hour

 

[Anbu]

You have to find out their real interests (if they have any), which can often be something far removed from the world of work. And you have to be able to hold your own with regard to those interests, be able to talk about them, be able to share in them. It could be rock-climbing, it could be philately, it could be Russian minimalism. This is where a broad cultural background comes in handy. All the things they don't teach at business school. If you're a phony, trying to stay in contact because you think they might be useful some time, it shows, and isn't productive. Dale Carnegie wrote a book on how to be such a phony (How to Win Friends and Influence People), but in my humble opinion, it never works. Ulterior motives reveal themselves.

You just have a book for everything don't you? I've seen you suggest books on all kinds of topics, just how do you find the time to read all of them?

 

[boneil]

You just have a book for everything don't you? I've seen you suggest books on all kinds of topics, just how do you find the time to read all of them?

He's one of the few centenarians in the tri-state area, so he's had plenty of time to read. :D

 

[roni]

If you're a phony, trying to stay in contact because you think they might be useful some time, it shows, and isn't productive.

Why else would you stay in contact with the person?
Even if I try to hide my "real intentions", the person most likely knows whether I have a job or whether I'm looking for one...
IMO (not very experienced opinion, though ), the person should understand why I'm trying to stay in touch with him...

Anyway,
I met a few people, but I wasn't really thinking of finding out their real interests (wasn't very experienced with networking)... Where do I go from here?
Should I email them (I think the best way of communicating, atm) with some general questions about their field/job/company?

Thanks.

 

[Tsotne]

Why else would you stay in contact with the person?
Even if I try to hide my "real intentions", the person most likely knows whether I have a job or whether I'm looking for one...
IMO (not very experienced opinion, though ), the person should understand why I'm trying to stay in touch with him...
Thanks.

It is always better to be faithful rather than approach a person with false pretense of being interested in their hobbies. Believe, it is far better recognized when you express explicitly your intentions because of many reasons: Being faithful always rewards since you are seen motivated to achieve your target and if failed with that particular person, you are expected to try with another hundred times, you are seen active, more goal oriented. Secondly, building initial trust between someone like this is important to be built on the real reason of approaching.

I met a few people, but I wasn't really thinking of finding out their real interests (wasn't very experienced with networking)... Where do I go from here?

This makes me more confident in what I said above. Most of people will get interested to find out why this guy is asking me so many questions about sky-diving? After thinking a while, he gets the intention and is less likely to honor the continuation of such kind of relationship. But this might be a good tool for initial,(only initial, to further extend a relationship) approach.

Should I email them (I think the best way of communicating, atm) with some general questions about their field/job/company?

This makes you appear more interested in the job specifics. That's a nice gesture if you have the chance to mail him/her, good.

 

[bigbadwolf]

You just have a book for everything don't you? I've seen you suggest books on all kinds of topics, just how do you find the time to read all of them?

Age and time perform their miracles. I've been through thousands of books. I'm no spring chicken, alas.

 

[bigbadwolf]

Why else would you stay in contact with the person?

Because you might like each other. But this doesn't occur in a vacuum; it is more likely to occur with shared outlooks, values, and interests.

Even if I try to hide my "real intentions", the person most likely knows whether I have a job or whether I'm looking for one...
IMO (not very experienced opinion, though ), the person should understand why I'm trying to stay in touch with him...

If it worked, I would tell you to do it. But with this mercenary approach, he will see you as one more importunate salesman trying to get something out of him. Trying to use people backfires, doesn't work mostly. Next to the pool in my condo there used to be various people lounging around, trying to sell real estate (before the collapse of the property market). They were absolutely uninteresting people, dull drabs, and their desire to "network," and their desire to find a mark (er, customer) was clear to see. So no-one would deal with them. You have to be more subtle, more oblique. Ideally, you want people to do you favors with you exactly having to spell it out. I concede that my approach is more difficult in the USA, where relationships (including "friendships") tend to be more short-term and contractual.

Anyway, I met a few people, but I wasn't really thinking of finding out their real interests (wasn't very experienced with networking)... Where do I go from here?

Should I email them (I think the best way of communicating, atm) with some general questions about their field/job/company?

I loathe the word "networking" -- it implies a naked, mercenary approach to social relationships. If you send them email messages, ask yourself why they should reply. Put yourself in their shoes -- what's in it for them? The point which I repeat is: How are you to "stay in touch" with people if there's no good reason for them to respond, and no good reason for them to remember you? What is so interesting about you to them? This is something you have to answer.

 

[chiadam]

You just have a book for everything don't you? I've seen you suggest books on all kinds of topics, just how do you find the time to read all of them?

Dale Carnegie's 'How to Win Friends and Influence People' is a staple of American culture. Many many many people from all walks of life have taken the time to read it in the 75 years since its release.

 

[Sherlock]

Still, a book cannot change your personality and interests. I have always found it funny how people read books like "How to .... " and they believe they now have this new " .... " acquired.

 

[Abdel]

No need to keep in touch. As long as they'll benefit from you in some way, they'll keep in touch with you.

Your only real network should be (is) your family. And if you're like me, ie unconfortable to use your family connects, then you're on your own.

 

[chiadam]

Your only real network should be (is) your family.

Not sure I agree with this. I do agree that many people will be willing to help if they feel they'll benefit. However, putting yourself in an environment where you will interact with people in your desired field can be very effective. For example, I joined the gym that is in the same building as the CBOE to get to know people.

 

[bigbadwolf]

However, putting yourself in an environment where you will interact with people in your desired field can be very effective. For example, I joined the gym that is in the same building as the CBOE to get to know people.

Very true. Putting yourself in situations where you get exposed to the right kind of people -- whether in a gym, club, conference, seminar, or professional society -- can only do you good. It gives them a chance to be exposed to you in low-stress situations without being in a high-stress position where they have to make some quick decision about whether to hire or reject you.

 

[Abdel]

However, putting yourself in an environment where you will interact with people in your desired field can be very effective. For example, I joined the gym that is in the same building as the CBOE to get to know people.

No disrespect but, this reminds of the hookers who hang out in bars hoping to catch a rich football player or something.

As long as you have common objectives with people, they'll be in your 'network'. It's all about the short term networks nowdays.