I am seriously thinking of this
"So I applied for about 50-75 jobs in the last 10 weeks and heard nothing from those companies. So I decided to write a different cover letter.
Dear Sir or Madam:
With Google being such an awesome company, I am sure you received a wide array of cover letters, ranging from “My experience is what makes me suitable for this position” to “I am pretty much amazing”. Well, prepare to have your mind blown.
Top 5 reasons why you should pick me:
1. I am awesome, you are awesome. Two awesome don’t mix? Think again. Boom.
2. You look at my resume. You see I graduated from a college that doesn’t begin with Har and end with Vard. You say “Meh”. I say, if you give the job to that Ivy League rowing champ, he will act like he deserved it. Give it to me and I will act like I am yet to deserve it. Double boom.
3. I am really good at this. I can analyze the hell out of financial data. One time in school project, I analyzed data so well, my team believed I was the son of a unicorn and Warren Buffet for a week.
4. I hear you think: “your experience is not shockingly impressive”. My experience is not, but I am shockingly impressive. Bring me for an interview and even if you don’t hire me, you’ll have the best 30 minutes of your life. Guaranteed. Or you money back. Minus the shipping and handling.
5. You’ll benefit from me. You’ll get a hard-working, driven, dedicated, talented and awesome person. And funny too (if you don’t appreciate my hilarious jokes, I promise to tone down on those).
Look, I know you can get any person you want because Google is like Heaven on Earth. If Jesus lived and died in this age, he’d ascend to Google from his cave. I would just love the opportunity to work for you, and I am absolutely positive that you would benefit from me as well. I know you’re dying to end this letter so you can get on the phone and call me. So go ahead.
Love,
......"
"So I applied for about 50-75 jobs in the last 10 weeks and heard nothing from those companies. So I decided to write a different cover letter.
Dear Sir or Madam:
With Google being such an awesome company, I am sure you received a wide array of cover letters, ranging from “My experience is what makes me suitable for this position” to “I am pretty much amazing”. Well, prepare to have your mind blown.
Top 5 reasons why you should pick me:
1. I am awesome, you are awesome. Two awesome don’t mix? Think again. Boom.
2. You look at my resume. You see I graduated from a college that doesn’t begin with Har and end with Vard. You say “Meh”. I say, if you give the job to that Ivy League rowing champ, he will act like he deserved it. Give it to me and I will act like I am yet to deserve it. Double boom.
3. I am really good at this. I can analyze the hell out of financial data. One time in school project, I analyzed data so well, my team believed I was the son of a unicorn and Warren Buffet for a week.
4. I hear you think: “your experience is not shockingly impressive”. My experience is not, but I am shockingly impressive. Bring me for an interview and even if you don’t hire me, you’ll have the best 30 minutes of your life. Guaranteed. Or you money back. Minus the shipping and handling.
5. You’ll benefit from me. You’ll get a hard-working, driven, dedicated, talented and awesome person. And funny too (if you don’t appreciate my hilarious jokes, I promise to tone down on those).
Look, I know you can get any person you want because Google is like Heaven on Earth. If Jesus lived and died in this age, he’d ascend to Google from his cave. I would just love the opportunity to work for you, and I am absolutely positive that you would benefit from me as well. I know you’re dying to end this letter so you can get on the phone and call me. So go ahead.
Love,
......"
