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Cover letter for Trading

MichaelZ

MichaelZ

Joined
12/14/11
Messages
8
Points
11
Hello,

I am a math PhD and am applying for a Trainee position in trading in London. As a non-native English speaker, I would be grateful if you could give me some advice on the cover letter I drafted. From specific wording/grammar to content to "throw it in the bin because ..." I welcome all comments:

Dear Ms. XXX_Name,

[...]

My interest in trading stems from my teen years when my uncle – a fund manager at the time – turned my attention to certain characteristics of market behavior. Since then I have been investing my own money in the market and advised others on theirs. Now, your Graduate Programme is an ideal start for my long-term goal of becoming a fund manager. I am confident that XXX_Asset_Manager as a major European player provides a superb environment to learn a lot and exciting opportunities to use my skills.

[...]

Please feel free to contact me at XXX_Phone_Number or at XXX_E_Mail should you require any additional information. I look forward to speaking with you and want to thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,

XXX_Name

*edited
 
cover letter:

a) who you are
b) why the firm/role
c) why you

if you feel you've answered those three things sufficiently, then you're all set. however, i think you could definitely add more substance and specifics to each of the three things above.

your grammar is fine. personally, i might change a few things, but it's mostly fine.
 
Thanks for the feedback! I am kind of relieved that my grammar works - if you are not a native you sometimes are able to screw writings up without noticing.

As for the specifics, truth is I first had written a cover letter which did provide some, but it made the letter 1.5 times as long - which looked too long in my eyes. I will think this over.

I am happy to hear more feedback, and if you mfegrad want to mention the "few things", perhaps optimized formulation, I am eager to implement your suggestions.
 
Personally, I find your cover letter too vague and lacks specifics. Firstly, leave your uncle out of this, this will already free up some space. This is something I'd bring up in the interview if they ask you "why do you want to become a trader". Then rather than saying you have been investing your own money and advised others, maybe say how well you have performed. Try incorporate some of your stats and maybe briefly explain how you trade/ invest. Scratch the phrase

"Now, your Graduate Programme is an ideal start for my long-term goal of becoming a fund manager. I am confident that XXX_Asset_Manager as a major European player provides a superb environment to learn a lot and exciting opportunities to use my skills."

and state why you are a good fit, ie what you think the trainee program exposes you to and why you think you'd fit. I avoid phrases as above like the plague - they mean nothing. It's something everyone would/ could say and is (arguably) obviously the ideal start for every applicant. Also, refrain from making the assumption that " XXX_Asset_Manager [...] provides a superb environment to learn a lot" in your cover letter. Nothing good can come out of this. Unless you know someone in there - I would mention that person then (with their permission of course).

Moving on to your next paragraph: don't just state that you've done well in internships. Highlight one or two projects/ tasks where you have performed well (and your performance is measurable) that are relevant to the position you are applying to. I wouldnt refer to your CV either - it's kinda implied that this information will be in there. Also, don't emphasise your "excellent analytical capabilities regarding theoretical questions" by simply mentioning them - give an example where you have demonstrated these ie in your PhD studies or elsewhere (without starting your paragraph "As an example of...") and never state that you or your skills are excellent!

The key is to being able to demonstrate your excellent skills in your cover letter - not just stating that you have some.
 
Thanks very much for the feedback!!! I will rewrite the CV more or less entirely to incorporate those points. I guess one point is to get something unique in there which inherently can not be copypasted by some other applicant. This, of course, requires more specifics.
 
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